Good Evening, I’ve been married for 15 years, but the last 10 years have been incredibly difficult. My husband left for the US during our 5th year of marriage. He had been chasing this opportunity for a long time but never fully explained the process to me. He just told me he had secured a good job and that it would provide us with a better life.
In these 10 years, he has only been home twice. Our kids were very young when he left, and he wouldn’t even allow us to visit him in the US. At some point, a family friend who is also in the US called me, asking if I was divorced. When I told her I was still married, she didn’t say much. Later, she sent me pictures of my husband openly kissing a white woman.

I confronted my husband about it, and he admitted to a brief affair but claimed it was over. My friend, however, warned me not to be so trusting. She revealed that my husband was actually living with this woman and that they had children together. She even sent me a link to the woman’s Instagram account, where my husband was living as part of her family, with children of their own. I sent him the pictures on WhatsApp without saying a word, and he blocked me. I tried calling him several times, but he never answered.

His mother said she would speak to him. But how do you convince a grown man to leave the family he’s built there and focus on the three kids he has here with me?

I work as an accountant at a real estate company, and when we got married, I had the instinct to purchase one of the units. I was paying in installments, and every time my husband sent money, I added it to cover the payments. After learning about his life in the US, I asked him for more money under the pretense of needing it for the kids’ school fees so I could finish paying for the house faster.

Now, my plan is to move out of my husband’s house with my kids and settle into the 3-bedroom home I’ve bought. I want to cut ties with him, end the marriage, and never look back. His family, especially his mother, thinks I’m acting rashly. His brother even claims that the house is my husband’s since he was the one sending money for it. But the house is in my name, and no one can take that from me.

As is often the case in our African society, they’re not blaming their son for abandoning me for 10 years and cheating on me—they’re labeling me a gold digger for finding a way to buy a house in this situation.

Many men in Ghana are toxic, and many families and marriages are toxic as well. I’m absolutely going to divorce him and focus on raising my children. I will never marry again. My focus will be on growing my career and maintaining my independence.
#copied