Please take time to read.
Reflections… Sad Reality.

At the end of a cold afternoon, I received an unexpected visit from my two sons, one is a doctor, the other an engineer, both successful in their professions.

Less than a week ago, I lost my beloved wife.
I still feel devastated by this loss that changed the course and meaning of my life.

Sitting at the table in the living room of my simple and modest house, where I now live alone, we began to talk about my future.
A chill runs down my spine.
Soon, they are trying to convince me that the best thing for me is to live in a nursing home.

I reacted.
I argue that the shadow of loneliness does not scare me and old age even less but my sons insist, “concerned”.
They lament that the rooms in their spacious apartments by the sea are occupied and therefore, I cannot stay with either one, according to them.

Moreover, my sons and daughters-in-law are very busy, so they would not have time to see me.
Not to mention my grandchildren, who study almost all day; it is impossible.

On my behalf, I argued, already without much conviction, that they could help me pay for a caregiver.
In front of me, the doctor and the engineer say that it would actually require “three caregivers in three shifts, all with contracts”.
Which would be, in times of crisis, a small fortune at the end of each month.

I refuse to accept the proposal to live in a nursing home.
And here comes another suggestion… They told me that I should sell the house.
The money will serve to cover the expenses of the home where I will go for a long time so that no one will worry, neither they nor I.

I give in to the arguments for not having the strength to face such ingratitude and coldness.
I close my lips and do not speak of the sacrifices I made throughout my life to finance their studies.
I did not say that I gave up traveling with the family, going to good restaurants, going to the theater or changing cars so that they would lack nothing.
It would not be worth mentioning such facts at this point in the conversation.

So, without saying a word, I decide to gather my belongings.
In a short time, I see a whole life summed up in two suitcases.
With them, I embark on another reality, much harsher: a nursing home, far from my children and grandchildren.

Today, in the arms of loneliness, I recognize that I was able to teach moral values to my children but I could not impart to either of them a virtue called gratitude.
The fault is ours, as we always give them what they ask for when we should teach them that they must “earn it”.

How?
By working hard, helping to clean the house, cook, wash dishes, etc.
Feeling part of the family unit, developing empathy, making them feel loved and respected.
So, in their adult stage, they will know how to value and learn that things are achieved with effort and responsibility, showing gratitude and love to their parents for having taught them to be good children.

Gratitude must be forged; it does not come included in the human heart unless love and fear of God have been instilled first.
They must know that when they become “old”, they will want to be well treated by their children and grandchildren and that is not achieved with money but with the kindness sown in their hearts.

Let’s educate our children in values, without forgetting to forge bonds of love.
Food for thought.
Parents, please wise up.
__________
Me;

Nothing calms the heart than show of gratitude…

I wish I can share a voice message from a man I secured admission in the university for his son and he just graduated with honors and awards and the first thing the father did was to call me on phone, reminded me who he is and released the good news to me

Nothing gladdens my heart like a show of gratitude and this I inculcated in my children to understand that whatever they’re getting from us, their parents are gifts and not their entitlements, therefore after each meal in the house, for example, they must say “Thank you Sir/Ma for the meal”

On receiving school fees “Thank you Daddy for my school fees” etc

The greeting and show of gratitude is a MUST

That was exactly the way I were taught and brought up by my parents…my mom would frown and asked whether she was owing us, if we made sudden financial request. This was to teach us that making money wasn’t easy and we shouldn’t just get whatever we wanted on a platter of gold, so that when we eventually get it we would appreciate, value and show gratitude that it didn’t just come easy

Those days, woe betide you to finish eating food without going to Papa and Mama wherever they were in the house to say “Thank you Sir/Maa”

Well, let’s learn one or two things from the story above

Your case will not be the same with this good father who sacrificed so much for his children, but got uncaring attitude from them

May God bless all caring parents!

@fitex
Nov 2024